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December 2009

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How can I be in love... and be so sad at the same time. Once I begin to feel, really feel, my soul just detatches itself and goes away to a place that I don't know. I can only hope that my belief in goodness, in the energy from people can save me. I can't be expected to save myself, can I? It's never worked for me in the past, why would it work now?

It would be so easy to decide to kill myself, to fucking slit my wrists without poetry or art or sympathy. Too bad I still hold onto this little thing called hope. The hope inside of me is killing me very, very slowly... it doesn't seem fair in any way, does it?

Then there are these unanswered questions... Will I ever feel that sense that I'm completely safe, completely loved and cared for... for the person I am?

There is also another important issue; WHO the fuck am I?


Being in love means opening yourself up. Letting yourself become vulnerable. A little is good, but be careful. You don't want to be completely vulnerable.

Don't lose yourself while loving another. I know it's hard to focus on yourself when you're so interested in another being, but you have to love yourself if you ever expect anyone else to love you.

Download "Don't believe in love" by Dido :)